Friday, October 13, 2006
Zenaida macroura
I know I wasn’t going to use this blog as a political forum, but I have to break with that for this entry. But there’s a proposal on the Michigan ballot that I feel needs to be examined. …My apologies in advance.
As I paroozed my absentee ballot for the state of Michigan I was drawn to one of the proposals. I don’t know if anyone knows it but there’s a heated debate raging in our state.
I’m talking about Proposal 06-3. This is a referendum that would allow the hunting of mourning doves.
The debate also rages within me. I think hunters should be able to shoot animals. If they can’t, they wouldn’t really be hunters, now would they? They’d be forced to wear their goofy-ass, camouflage jump suits for nothing. A lack of hunters could have a serious effect Michigan’s alcohol, gambling and stripping related businesses. In atrium county alone the effect could be devastating. Plus they’d look foolish all out there in the woods, shooting at nothing. They’d be just a bunch of wet guys with nothing to kill.
The state would profit from the hunting of Mourning Doves because they would put a $2 stamp on existing bird hunting licenses. This would give more money back to the Michigan DNR. They could use the money to print up more stamps. The DNR thinks that new hunters will be drawn to the sport because there are a lot of Mourning Doves. Other game birds are pretty scarce in Michigan because… well because hunters have killed most of them.
With every stamp you buy, the DNR will include a booklet that will have tips about management and propagation of the species. This booklet will be so effective and full of information that hunters all over Michigan will take steps to manage and propagate the species, so that there should be some doves left to kill next year.
So there’s that.
On the other hand, there is the sad little morning dove. The morning dove was voted Michigan’s official “state bird of peace” in 1989, and they’re pretty. That’s pretty much all they have going for them, the fuckers! They’re mostly just feathers and some tiny bones. There isn’t enough meat on them to round up a cup of bouillon. Even Kate Moss’s “Chicken in a thimble” cook book doesn’t include any dove recipes! And you can’t really mount doves because they usually explode when you shoot them.
And there’s that!
My personal dilemma is this, what do you do with them after you’ve killed them?
I feel proposal 06-3 should suggest what people should do with these shattered dove fragments once the hunters have finished with them.
I suppose if every hunter carries a pillowcase and picked up all the feathers, the Michigan pillow manufacturers might profit. And hey! That supports the local economy, right.
The feathers could also be molded back into the shape of a bird and used as a decoy that would attract other doves that could also be shot. They might even excite the doves into the act of propagation, and that would be OK with the DNR!.
The tiny bugs and scavengers of the forest would profit from the small chunks of dove meat they find scattered around and imbedded in tree trunks. Those are nature too, right?
So, I guess we should all vote yes on this proposal. After all what’s more important a small bird that doesn’t really have any meat on it or the strippers of Atrium county?
As I paroozed my absentee ballot for the state of Michigan I was drawn to one of the proposals. I don’t know if anyone knows it but there’s a heated debate raging in our state.
I’m talking about Proposal 06-3. This is a referendum that would allow the hunting of mourning doves.
The debate also rages within me. I think hunters should be able to shoot animals. If they can’t, they wouldn’t really be hunters, now would they? They’d be forced to wear their goofy-ass, camouflage jump suits for nothing. A lack of hunters could have a serious effect Michigan’s alcohol, gambling and stripping related businesses. In atrium county alone the effect could be devastating. Plus they’d look foolish all out there in the woods, shooting at nothing. They’d be just a bunch of wet guys with nothing to kill.The state would profit from the hunting of Mourning Doves because they would put a $2 stamp on existing bird hunting licenses. This would give more money back to the Michigan DNR. They could use the money to print up more stamps. The DNR thinks that new hunters will be drawn to the sport because there are a lot of Mourning Doves. Other game birds are pretty scarce in Michigan because… well because hunters have killed most of them.
With every stamp you buy, the DNR will include a booklet that will have tips about management and propagation of the species. This booklet will be so effective and full of information that hunters all over Michigan will take steps to manage and propagate the species, so that there should be some doves left to kill next year.
So there’s that.On the other hand, there is the sad little morning dove. The morning dove was voted Michigan’s official “state bird of peace” in 1989, and they’re pretty. That’s pretty much all they have going for them, the fuckers! They’re mostly just feathers and some tiny bones. There isn’t enough meat on them to round up a cup of bouillon. Even Kate Moss’s “Chicken in a thimble” cook book doesn’t include any dove recipes! And you can’t really mount doves because they usually explode when you shoot them.
And there’s that!
My personal dilemma is this, what do you do with them after you’ve killed them?I feel proposal 06-3 should suggest what people should do with these shattered dove fragments once the hunters have finished with them.
I suppose if every hunter carries a pillowcase and picked up all the feathers, the Michigan pillow manufacturers might profit. And hey! That supports the local economy, right.
The feathers could also be molded back into the shape of a bird and used as a decoy that would attract other doves that could also be shot. They might even excite the doves into the act of propagation, and that would be OK with the DNR!.
The tiny bugs and scavengers of the forest would profit from the small chunks of dove meat they find scattered around and imbedded in tree trunks. Those are nature too, right?
So, I guess we should all vote yes on this proposal. After all what’s more important a small bird that doesn’t really have any meat on it or the strippers of Atrium county?
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