Saturday, October 21, 2006
Fed-X to Burbank
OK so a guy needs to Fed-X a DVD to me from Singapore. He sent it yesterday (October 19, to my new Burbank address). (Singapore time is 12 hours ahead of Detroit time, 15 hours ahead of LA) Fed-X promises three days transit time from SE Asia (usually it’s 5). My pal Tony and I get in a car on the 21st and drive for 50 hours from TC (Detroit time) to Burbank (LA time). We average 8 – 10 hours per day, driving time. Subtract two meal stops per day (roughly 1 hour each) include late starts (roughly 1 -3 hours) and fuel breaks (usually one every 8 hours). Add to this equation a short stay in Vegas (to do what ever it is people do in Vegas).
Now here’s the question: Will I arrive at my new address before the package?
Right, the answer is no because I can’t move into the place before the 27th. I know I left that out because I forgot.
Of course, the real question is, what happens to the package? Guesses anyone? This is where being a cynic really pays off. If you expect little of people then you can find comfort in usually being right. And if someone comes through for you without your guidance, you find yourself pleasantly surprised.
Uh oh, it looks like winter's coming!
OK here’s the next question. Which route to take? There are three basic ways to cross the country: the northern route, the central route and the southern route. The main difference between the three is that the southern route is pronounced “the southern root”. I actually toyed with the idea of taking a car ferry across Lake Michigan. That would put us in Milwaukee in about 4.5 hours. That’s a pretty good jump on the old trip. But, from there, all roads lead to Denver.
The northern and the central both go through Denver and the Rocky Mountains. This could be a problem given the time of year. If you don’t understand, refer to the wikipedia entry regarding the Donner party. (I like Tony, But I don’t want to resort to eating him. His wife would kill me.)
That leaves the southern root. The problem there, besides Texas in general, is that it gets a little dull out there in the desert. I personally love the desert. There, that’s something a lot of people don’t know about me. I love it out there. Especially when you’re out there by yourself. (…because the people who live out there are a little scary and you want to avoid them. Mostly, they’re out there for a reason and it’s best not to ask them why.) The problem with the desert, like I said, is that it’s a little dull to drive through. (That and the garbage never breaks-down.) But, I won’t be out there driving alone. Tony can drive too. He’s also a stunning conversationalist, and if that doesn’t hold up he’s also coming armed with a maxed out i-pod.
I figure it’s about 25 hours from Memphis to Las Vegas, and the average I pod holds about eleventyseven million hours of stuff. We should be OK.
Usually, it’s good to have some sort of a vague plan in mind like, having a beer in every state. Or finding something that is the biggest in that state, like the 500-pound prairie dog, the largest petrified tree stump or the largest nuclear waste dump. ( ...note to self: recharge dosimeter)
Tony suggested we look for barbeque. That route would be TC, MI to Wilmington, NC, to Memphis, TN, to Kansas city, KA, to El Paso, TX. A bit of a twisted rout, but eventually it does head west. I plotted that rout and I figure that will put us into Burbank roughly about the same time I’ll be fired from Disney for not showing up.
I suggested that we take the same route that “Frankenstein” and his navigator “Annie Smith” took in “Death race 2000”. But, I don’t think we’ll have time for that either. …Even it we don’t slow down to run over fans.
I guess we’ll just have to see!
Now here’s the question: Will I arrive at my new address before the package?
Right, the answer is no because I can’t move into the place before the 27th. I know I left that out because I forgot.
Of course, the real question is, what happens to the package? Guesses anyone? This is where being a cynic really pays off. If you expect little of people then you can find comfort in usually being right. And if someone comes through for you without your guidance, you find yourself pleasantly surprised.
Uh oh, it looks like winter's coming!OK here’s the next question. Which route to take? There are three basic ways to cross the country: the northern route, the central route and the southern route. The main difference between the three is that the southern route is pronounced “the southern root”. I actually toyed with the idea of taking a car ferry across Lake Michigan. That would put us in Milwaukee in about 4.5 hours. That’s a pretty good jump on the old trip. But, from there, all roads lead to Denver.
The northern and the central both go through Denver and the Rocky Mountains. This could be a problem given the time of year. If you don’t understand, refer to the wikipedia entry regarding the Donner party. (I like Tony, But I don’t want to resort to eating him. His wife would kill me.)
That leaves the southern root. The problem there, besides Texas in general, is that it gets a little dull out there in the desert. I personally love the desert. There, that’s something a lot of people don’t know about me. I love it out there. Especially when you’re out there by yourself. (…because the people who live out there are a little scary and you want to avoid them. Mostly, they’re out there for a reason and it’s best not to ask them why.) The problem with the desert, like I said, is that it’s a little dull to drive through. (That and the garbage never breaks-down.) But, I won’t be out there driving alone. Tony can drive too. He’s also a stunning conversationalist, and if that doesn’t hold up he’s also coming armed with a maxed out i-pod.
I figure it’s about 25 hours from Memphis to Las Vegas, and the average I pod holds about eleventyseven million hours of stuff. We should be OK.
Usually, it’s good to have some sort of a vague plan in mind like, having a beer in every state. Or finding something that is the biggest in that state, like the 500-pound prairie dog, the largest petrified tree stump or the largest nuclear waste dump. ( ...note to self: recharge dosimeter)
Tony suggested we look for barbeque. That route would be TC, MI to Wilmington, NC, to Memphis, TN, to Kansas city, KA, to El Paso, TX. A bit of a twisted rout, but eventually it does head west. I plotted that rout and I figure that will put us into Burbank roughly about the same time I’ll be fired from Disney for not showing up.
I suggested that we take the same route that “Frankenstein” and his navigator “Annie Smith” took in “Death race 2000”. But, I don’t think we’ll have time for that either. …Even it we don’t slow down to run over fans.
I guess we’ll just have to see!
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