Thursday, February 02, 2006
Talking cock
Eric the ex pat makes a good point. Singapore has a smell. A very specific smell. I’m reminded of an episode of Sanford and Son when Lamont and Fred were picking up a piano in a white person's house. Fred said, “White people’s houses have no smell.” And it’s true. Except for old, white people. When I think of how home smells I draw a blank. The walk to work smells like smoked jerky in the morning and the State Street rental smells like KFC around 3 pm. Singapore, if you can imagine, smells like food; chili and garlic. It smells good. Even in the morning. I don’t know what my neighbors have for breakfast but it don’t smell like eggs. Think I’ll go over there tomorrow with a big spoon and my shoes off.
Malaysia, on the other hand smells like a wet dog. …A big one. (See, these are the true facts that I know my readers tune in for.) Somewhere there is some elementary school kid putting together a report about Singapore with information he got off the web:
Singapore; Talking cock.
By Hunter Wilson
Singapore is a country that you can take a cab across for the price of a six pack and It smells like garlic and not white people. Monkeys in Singapore smoke pipes and finger themselves and they will hit you with a fish when you buy corn in a cup at a gas station. The main language is Singlish and they pound transvestites into flat pieces of meat and cook them for New Year. It is the year of the dog there in Singapore. They have cats too. The main past time in Singapore revolves around mashed potatoes, prawn balls and giant underpants. Singapore is a wonderful place with happy people to be happy they live there.
The end
By the way “Talking Cock” means that you’re bragging or are full of it. The following are questions that will be on your final exam:
Jack and Jill
Went to Canning Hill
To marry for a flat
But soon, of course,
They both divorced
And the HDB took it back.
Question one: What the heck does this mean?
Question two: Who is Hunter Wilson
Next time: The threat from the outside!
Malaysia, on the other hand smells like a wet dog. …A big one. (See, these are the true facts that I know my readers tune in for.) Somewhere there is some elementary school kid putting together a report about Singapore with information he got off the web:
Singapore; Talking cock.
By Hunter Wilson
Singapore is a country that you can take a cab across for the price of a six pack and It smells like garlic and not white people. Monkeys in Singapore smoke pipes and finger themselves and they will hit you with a fish when you buy corn in a cup at a gas station. The main language is Singlish and they pound transvestites into flat pieces of meat and cook them for New Year. It is the year of the dog there in Singapore. They have cats too. The main past time in Singapore revolves around mashed potatoes, prawn balls and giant underpants. Singapore is a wonderful place with happy people to be happy they live there.
The end
By the way “Talking Cock” means that you’re bragging or are full of it. The following are questions that will be on your final exam:
Jack and Jill
Went to Canning Hill
To marry for a flat
But soon, of course,
They both divorced
And the HDB took it back.
Question one: What the heck does this mean?
Question two: Who is Hunter Wilson
Next time: The threat from the outside!
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