Saturday, January 21, 2006
Random Items of Slight Interest
Here's a clever limerick that I heard on the radio and thought of my old pal Mister Ceo:
There was a young man from park slope
Who liked to be tied up with rope
And forced on his knees
To eat black eyed peas
Which was good for his health
One would hope.
Next item:
Not just any food, this stuff is Cooked!
Next Item:
OK, everyone Five, Four, Three, Two, One... CHOPSTICKS!!!!!!
Happy Chinese New Year!
Did you notice the woman on the far left? She's having such a good time, her hat blew right off her head.
This is a picture of a lush Singapore freeway. All the freeways are lined with this type of tree. It makes the freeway nice and shady. This type of tree has a real name but the only one I could remember was what the Malaysians called it, “the Five O’clock Tree.” In the evening this tree’s leaves fold up… Let me stop there.
I know it’s kind of lame to put a picture of a tree on my blog that I don’t know the real name of, but, I don’t remember where I saw the sign that broke the whole thing down. I think it was in a park somewhere. And even If I did remember where the sign was, I probably wouldn’t go back just to find out what the tree is really called. After you find out that the leaves fold up that’s about all you really want to know anyway, right?
And as far as the Malaysians calling it the five O’clock tree, I’m not really sure I believe this. The Park Service or the National Tree Plaque People probably thought it would be really clever to put that on the sign. It will bring up images of ancient Malaysians running through the primitive jungle naming things in that quaint little way ancient people had, they probably thought. However, even if you believe the ancient Malaysians had the perception to notice one tree’s leaves getting slightly smaller in the vast jungle canopy; in the dark! You would be forced to question how they knew it was really five o’clock. Were the Malaysians the only primitive race to invent the clock before they invented pants? Or were they retarded enough to finally get around to naming the tree in 1966, well after clocks had been introduced to Malaysia? And does the sun go down at five o’clock in Malaysia? I’m sure I’m missing something here. I can remember wondering how the pilgrims could name a rock after a car that wouldn’t be invented for hundreds of years. Maybe I will go back and read the sign a little more closely. I’ll keep you all up to date on that!
Remember, these are items of only slight interest.
Did you know that Bono’s last name is Hughes? His father’s name was Bob Hughes. How cool is that? I share the same last name with a guy who only has one name.
…Slightly interesting?
Here is a picture of a cat on a pile of garbage:
...and two iced coffees:
And a picture of my building that I'm quite proud of:
And this:
This is a pile of salt in a leaf shaped glass bowl sitting on the garbage/ tray return of the Princep Street Subway Sandwich shop.
I remember seeing something like this at sushi 101. Only the salt bowl was outside, next to the door, on the ground. I assume it’s some religious thing. Does anyone have a clue what this is about? And before anyone gives me any smart-ass crack about using it on my sandwich, let me just say that I didn’t. Although, if I were a god I’d rather they made me the Italian BMT. (But, make it a good one. They don’t taste so good here. The cold cuts are of questionable origin.)
Finally, the maid.
Her name is Cumari and she seems to be from India. I would ask her but her command of the English language is only slightly better than my command of whatever language she’s knocking out. To answer the question burning a hole in all your brains; No, I didn’t leave her here alone while she cleaned the place. The reason wasn’t a matter of trust, because, once I take my computer out of here the net worth of all my remaining assets is slightly less than most hermits. It was a simple matter of key. I only had the one. And if that wasn’t the only question burning a hole in your brain then the answer is still no, you pervert!
So anywayze, I worked at the glass dining room table and nodded when she would come into the room and say things while waving her arms around. The end result was a very clean apartment. Once she left I explored around to see how she did. Check this out:
Before:
After:
I thought, how funny would it be to switch the pictures around and make it look like she took my underpants and threw them on the bed, for some reason. Then I thought, Oh, hey. She folded my underpants! She took them off the bed and folded them up! I thought Jen was the only one who folded underpants. I think of folding underpants as the second greatest waste of time known to mankind. Now I find out that the whole world has gone mad.
Next time: THE greatest waste of time known to mankind.
There was a young man from park slope
Who liked to be tied up with rope
And forced on his knees
To eat black eyed peas
Which was good for his health
One would hope.
Next item:
Not just any food, this stuff is Cooked!
Next Item:
OK, everyone Five, Four, Three, Two, One... CHOPSTICKS!!!!!!
Happy Chinese New Year!
Did you notice the woman on the far left? She's having such a good time, her hat blew right off her head.
This is a picture of a lush Singapore freeway. All the freeways are lined with this type of tree. It makes the freeway nice and shady. This type of tree has a real name but the only one I could remember was what the Malaysians called it, “the Five O’clock Tree.” In the evening this tree’s leaves fold up… Let me stop there.
I know it’s kind of lame to put a picture of a tree on my blog that I don’t know the real name of, but, I don’t remember where I saw the sign that broke the whole thing down. I think it was in a park somewhere. And even If I did remember where the sign was, I probably wouldn’t go back just to find out what the tree is really called. After you find out that the leaves fold up that’s about all you really want to know anyway, right?
And as far as the Malaysians calling it the five O’clock tree, I’m not really sure I believe this. The Park Service or the National Tree Plaque People probably thought it would be really clever to put that on the sign. It will bring up images of ancient Malaysians running through the primitive jungle naming things in that quaint little way ancient people had, they probably thought. However, even if you believe the ancient Malaysians had the perception to notice one tree’s leaves getting slightly smaller in the vast jungle canopy; in the dark! You would be forced to question how they knew it was really five o’clock. Were the Malaysians the only primitive race to invent the clock before they invented pants? Or were they retarded enough to finally get around to naming the tree in 1966, well after clocks had been introduced to Malaysia? And does the sun go down at five o’clock in Malaysia? I’m sure I’m missing something here. I can remember wondering how the pilgrims could name a rock after a car that wouldn’t be invented for hundreds of years. Maybe I will go back and read the sign a little more closely. I’ll keep you all up to date on that!
Remember, these are items of only slight interest.
Did you know that Bono’s last name is Hughes? His father’s name was Bob Hughes. How cool is that? I share the same last name with a guy who only has one name.
…Slightly interesting?
Here is a picture of a cat on a pile of garbage:
...and two iced coffees:
And a picture of my building that I'm quite proud of:
And this:
This is a pile of salt in a leaf shaped glass bowl sitting on the garbage/ tray return of the Princep Street Subway Sandwich shop.
I remember seeing something like this at sushi 101. Only the salt bowl was outside, next to the door, on the ground. I assume it’s some religious thing. Does anyone have a clue what this is about? And before anyone gives me any smart-ass crack about using it on my sandwich, let me just say that I didn’t. Although, if I were a god I’d rather they made me the Italian BMT. (But, make it a good one. They don’t taste so good here. The cold cuts are of questionable origin.)
Finally, the maid.
Her name is Cumari and she seems to be from India. I would ask her but her command of the English language is only slightly better than my command of whatever language she’s knocking out. To answer the question burning a hole in all your brains; No, I didn’t leave her here alone while she cleaned the place. The reason wasn’t a matter of trust, because, once I take my computer out of here the net worth of all my remaining assets is slightly less than most hermits. It was a simple matter of key. I only had the one. And if that wasn’t the only question burning a hole in your brain then the answer is still no, you pervert!
So anywayze, I worked at the glass dining room table and nodded when she would come into the room and say things while waving her arms around. The end result was a very clean apartment. Once she left I explored around to see how she did. Check this out:
Before:
After:
I thought, how funny would it be to switch the pictures around and make it look like she took my underpants and threw them on the bed, for some reason. Then I thought, Oh, hey. She folded my underpants! She took them off the bed and folded them up! I thought Jen was the only one who folded underpants. I think of folding underpants as the second greatest waste of time known to mankind. Now I find out that the whole world has gone mad.
Next time: THE greatest waste of time known to mankind.
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