Tuesday, January 03, 2006
An open letter to Apple
Here's how I spent the wee-preflight hours:
Hello,
Thank you for your speedy and repeated form letter replies to my inquiry into the whereabouts of the quicktime program that I paid for a month ago.
Thank you for giving me the key, the order confirmation number and my customer number. Thank you for asking me to buy more stuff from the apple store.
Yes, indeed this is all very nice. But I haven't gotten the program yet. Where IS the Quicktime program that I paid you for over a month ago?
Where is the program?
I have the key!
I have seen keys before.
I know how to use the key.
There is no program to put the key into.
No program was ever sent to me.
I have received no program.
no el programo aqui!
Eu não recebi nenhum programa
Oh-na, oh-gram-pray!
I've searched my in box. I've glanced in my mail box. I've rifled through my glove box. Nothing!
Not an electronic sausage!
Where is my program? Tell me where to download it! Tell me where it is, I’ll go get it. I have a car!
Mail it to me, send it to any of the e-mail addresses that I have provided. Stick a disk in an envelope and fed-ex it! Send it by carrier pigeon. I don't care how it gets here. I want what I paid for.
Yes, Christmas was a busy time for you folks. An electronic gentleman explained it to me about fifteen times on your customer service line. Then I was electronically hung-up on by your electronical customer service gentleman about fifteen times. He wouldn’t listen to reason.
But now, alas, Christmas is over. The goose has been devoured and the lights have been put away. We are in the early stages of a shining new year, still moist with the promise of unhindered success.
If you can't get this thing together in two days. …well I don’t know what I’ll do. I guess I’ll just have to give you another month.
Is that what you want? Is that what the electronic man wants? I don’t think so!
Robert Hughes
Hello,
Thank you for your speedy and repeated form letter replies to my inquiry into the whereabouts of the quicktime program that I paid for a month ago.
Thank you for giving me the key, the order confirmation number and my customer number. Thank you for asking me to buy more stuff from the apple store.
Yes, indeed this is all very nice. But I haven't gotten the program yet. Where IS the Quicktime program that I paid you for over a month ago?
Where is the program?
I have the key!
I have seen keys before.
I know how to use the key.
There is no program to put the key into.
No program was ever sent to me.
I have received no program.
no el programo aqui!
Eu não recebi nenhum programa
Oh-na, oh-gram-pray!
I've searched my in box. I've glanced in my mail box. I've rifled through my glove box. Nothing!
Not an electronic sausage!
Where is my program? Tell me where to download it! Tell me where it is, I’ll go get it. I have a car!
Mail it to me, send it to any of the e-mail addresses that I have provided. Stick a disk in an envelope and fed-ex it! Send it by carrier pigeon. I don't care how it gets here. I want what I paid for.
Yes, Christmas was a busy time for you folks. An electronic gentleman explained it to me about fifteen times on your customer service line. Then I was electronically hung-up on by your electronical customer service gentleman about fifteen times. He wouldn’t listen to reason.
But now, alas, Christmas is over. The goose has been devoured and the lights have been put away. We are in the early stages of a shining new year, still moist with the promise of unhindered success.
If you can't get this thing together in two days. …well I don’t know what I’ll do. I guess I’ll just have to give you another month.
Is that what you want? Is that what the electronic man wants? I don’t think so!
Robert Hughes
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